Red Racer
by NeverJust
Summary: A thousand years into the future, Earth has become a desolate wasteland. A company run by the The Notorious and Mysterious C controls its people. A team of young idealists seek to overthrow his tyranical reign. They are the Racers, protectors of Earth. The fate of the world rests in their hands.


**AN; so, I've wanted to write this for a while now. I searched the internet but South Park never really tells us what Red Racer is, so I settled for a mixture of Speed Racer, Power Rangers, Oban Star-Racers and the Life and Times of the Fabulous Killjoys. I hope it came out okay! It's not the most complex thing in the world, but I tried to make it like an actual teen/children's cartoon. I just wanted it to be this super dramatic thing. I think it turned out pretty good to be honest.**

_A thousand years into the future, Earth has become a desolate wasteland. A company run by the The Notorious and Mysterious C controls its people. A team of young idealists seek to overthrow his tyranical reign. They are the Racers, protectors of Earth._

_The fate of the world rests in their hands. _

They sped through the empty streets of New York city, the bright blue and green motorcycles roaring ahead of the plain black cars. "Stan," Kyle said into the microphone attached to his helmet. "Do you read me?"

"Loud and clear, dude."

"Divide and conquer!" They reached a fork in the road and split apart, Kyle disappearing amongst the rusted metal framework of rotting skyscrapers. Stan hooked left and sped up, leaving a trail of bright blue light behind him. The car hesitateda moment before following the later. Stan looked back and pressed a button on his handlebars. Smoke poured out of the exhaust, shielding him from view.

"Token." He buzzed the genius as his smokescreen began to dissolve. "Token, buddy I need a little help here!"

"Don't worry, dude, it's on its way."

_BOOM!_

Stan grinned as a bright orange blur flew over his head, landing with a thump next to him. Kenny gave him a thumbs up before pulling out his oversized proton laser.

Sometimes it came in handy to have an alien as a teammate.

Kenny fired, sending a blast of concentrated energy to the car. It exploded in a fiery explosion that shook several nearby buildings.

"Good job guys!" Token said. "Return to base!"

"Roger dodger, T."

"Mphm mm."

'Base' was an abandoned subway station, decorated with all that Earth had left to offer including a supercomputer that helped them monitor the city and its large population of three hundred and forty six people total. Stan and Kenny parked their cars next to the others. Kyle grinned lazily at them from his seat at the table. This was one place the Racers could truly relax and be themselves. The subways had been closed for so long no one knew they existed anymore, this one in particular had been shut down even before the Great War. It was a large sprawling room that served as a kitchen, garage, laboratory, lounge and bedroom for nine teenagers and a preteen. It wasn't much but it was home. Stan unbuckled his belt and placed it on the table.

"Forgot to charge your phaser again, huh, Stan?" Kyle teased.

"Oh shut up."

"You know Craig is going to have your ass if he finds out. You're supposed to be a Primary, you can't make mistakes like that anymore."

"Yeah, well, Craig's a stick in the mud." Stan said, sitting down. "Besides, Wendy is a Primary too and she's never here. She's more obsessed with C than Craig and that's saying something." He rested his chin in his hand. "I think you'd make a much better Primary then her."

"Well, you're comfortably Blue and Craig would rather die than not be a Red racer anymore so that leaves Yellow. I think Green suits me much better."

"It goes great with your hair." He agreed, leaning over to twirl a bright red curly lock. Kyle rolled his eyes and batted him away.

"Hands off, Stanley."

"Hey guys!" Ike shouted. "Come see what I got Lorraine to do! I finally got her-"

"Not now, Ike!"

He pouted as he was ignored, stroking the computer's keyboard adoringly. "They just don't understand how beautiful you are." He murmured. Token laughed.

"That she is. This old girl has gotten us through some tough times. I don't know what we'd do without you, Lorraine."

"Hey Token, leave off, okay? I'm starting to get a bit jealous." Clyde snickered, leaning over to give his boyfriend a kiss. Token smiled happily.

"You know she could never replace you."

"Ewww! Old people love!"

"Break it up you too." Craig cut it in as he walked in, fiddling with his communicator with Bebe at his heels.

"Hey Craig." The group responded.

"Don't mind him." She said. "He's just grumpy Tweek won't call him back."

"Where is Tweek?" Kyle asked. "It's his turn to make dinner."

"Maybe he met up with Wendy somewhere. Her patrol started an hour ago." Ike offered.

"Well he better get home soon! I'm starving!" Clyde groaned, rubbing his slightly rounded stomach. "In fact, I feel like I might faint!"

"Oh shut up! I'm sure there's something we can eat to tide us over." Bebe laughed, shoving him slightly as she made her way past the clutter. She crouched down and shifted through the plastic boxes that served as their cupboards. "For dinner your options are Spam, Spam, green beans or, hey, look here, more Spam!"

Stan smiled and stood up. "So many choices." He teased. "How will I ever choose?"

They all flinched as the sound of static filled the room. "Token!" Craig snapped. "For God's sake! Turn that shit off!"

"I can't!" He typed furiously at the keyboard. "I have no idea what's going on! Ike, what did you do?"

"I just defragmented her hard drive, that's it!" He cried.

"Holy shit." Token breathed as the picture cleared slowly, revealing none other than the Racers worst enemy.!

"Is it on? It is? Right now? Crap...Oh! Good afternoon, people of 'Murica." The fat man said, adjusting his dark black sunglasses. "I'm sure you're all very confused right now but I've got a very important message to send a certain group of people. Racers," He addressed. "I've grown very tired of you disrespectin' my authoritah and seeing as how you don't seem to be stopping any time soon I've bought myself a little insurance, I suppose you could call it." The camera swung around to reveal a very battered Tweek.

The white Racer was tied to a chair, his normally pristine jumpsuit torn and bloodied. He glared hatefully at the camera, shaking as he pulled against his restraints.

"Oh my god!" Kyle shouted. "They've kidnapped Tweek!"

"You bastards." Craig growled.

"Unless you come to my headquarters and fork over all your power crystals by six o'clock today," C said, smiling widely. "I'm afraid that your friend is going to meet a very_...messy_ end." The screen went black for a moment before returning to normal.

"We can't give him our power crystals!" Bebe gasped, clutching hers tightly. It glowed a soft, comforting purple. "Without them, we couldn't start our bikes or weapons!"

"Yeah, and there would be nothing stopping fatty from taking over the world." Token added.

"We can't just abandon Tweek!" Craig spat.

"Not to mention C already owns the world." Stan said bitterly.

"Mm mph mmm." Kenny hummed.

"He's right." Kyle said, hugging his orange colored friend. "We don't have a choice. The ball is in C's court now."

"What are we going to do guys?" Clyde asked in a small voice. He didn't own a crystal, neither did Token or Ike, but he knew how important they were to their cause. C was powerful enough without them, practically enslaving humanity with the residue left behind from when they fell to Earth. He couldn't even fathom what the tyrant would do with eight of the most powerful weapons in the universe.

"We have to go." Stan said tiredly.

"There's no way around it." Craig agreed. "Bebe, message Wendy. Let her know what's going on. Everybody else to your bikes."

"What about us?" Ike piped in.

"We need you guys to stay here." Kyle said. "Who knows if C was able to squeeze information out of Tweek. We need you guys to stay behind and guard the base."

"Tweek would never do that!" snapped Craig. "Don't even think like that!" They got on their bikes silently, each lighting up in its Racer's respective color. In Craig's anger, even the air around him seemed to glow a bright, pulsing red. "Racers move out!" He ordered.

Farrowwind Living Industries headquarters towered over all the other buildings, sleek, black and intimidating. It blocked the sun and set long shadows over the city, glimmering like a jewel in the desert. It was the tallest building for miles and the only one besides Racer HQ to have electricity. Craig would have happily set it on fire if it hadn't been for the agents that lined the streets. He briefly considered doing it anyway before remember Tweek was still trapped inside They slid to a stop mere feet away from the doors, powering down their bikes. An agent stepped forward, grabbing Bebe's handlebars. "We're going to confiscate your bikes and your weapons." He said. Bebe raised her hand to slap him when Craig spoke up.

"Take them." He said dully. "We have come unarmed. All we want is our friend back." The agent looked torn for a moment, eyeing their colorful jumpsuits and trenchcoats before nodding reluctantly.

"Alright. Go in then. Top floor. We'll be watching from down here."

"Craig what are you doing?" Kyle hissed as they passed the doors. "Are you just going to let them-"

"The bikes can be rebuilt." He interrupted in a quiet whisper. "If we cause trouble now they're more liable to ask more questions. We don't need our bikes right now but we need all the firepower we can get."

"Mmmmmm." Kenny said, patting the red head on the back. "Phm pmf."

They stepped into the elevator quietly, huddling together. Stan pressed the button.

"I hate this." Bebe hissed. "We don't even have a plan. Wendy's not even here yet."

"Get Tweek back, that's our plan." Craig said. "We'll go on without Wendy."

"I say we just shoot the bastard." She said, hand trailing down to her phaser. "There's one of him and five of us. Six if he gives Tweek back soon."

_Ding. _

"Yeah! Let's do it." Kyle said fiercely, taking a defensive stance. "We can take him."

The doors opened.

"Good afternoon, Racers." C said kindly. "So glad you could make it. You're looking well. Love the color."

"Where's Tweek?" Craig demanded, stomping towards the desk.

"So rude! Wouldn't you like to have a bite to eat first?" C pouted. "My chef has prepared some excellent chili."

"Stop playing games, C!" Kyle had to be physically restrained by Stan and Kenny, his hands grasping for his weapon. "We don't want to play your games! We want our friend back!"

"Haven't you ever heard of saying please?"

"You son of a-"

"That's enough, Kyle. C, just give us what we came here for."

"Very well then." He pressed a large black button on his desk. "Butters, could you bring in the prisoner, please?"

"S-s-ure thing boss!" A door to the right opened and blonde boy in a light blue mini dress walked Tweek in, smiling happily at everybody. "Boy, you got a party going on in here, boss." He said admiringly, tossing the white Racer to the ground, sliding over to his superior, sitting on his desk.

Bebe rushed over and helped him sit up, holding him tight. She undid his gag and he gasped for air, blood pouring out of his mouth. "What did you do to him, you bastard?" Craig shouted, pulling his laser from its holster. He cocked it and pointed it at the fat business man.

C's eyes widened and then he smiled. The cross-dresser gasped and covered his mouth.

"Eric! He's got a gun!"

"Butters, calm down for a second. So childish. I was really hoping we could end this peacefully. You give me the crystals, I give you your friend and everyone goes home happy."

"I won't be happy until you're dead!"

"C-Craig!" Tweek shouted suddenly, startling everyone in the room. "Run! It's a trap!"

"He's right you now. You always were so headstrong, never thinking of the consequences. Why don't you just put the gun down before someone gets hurt?"

The Racers all froze. "You..." Craig gasped, turning around. "It was you..."

"Hello boys and girls." Wendy smiled.

_Tune in next week for the dramatic conclusion to Red Racer! _

**AN; and it's done. Just so you know, and I'm gonna put in caps because no one seems to read the friggin' author's notes THIS WILL NOT BE CONTINUED. It's not supposed to be a story-story just sort of a oneshot/idea what I thought Red Racer was like with SP characters. Maybe I'll continue it if enough people review but I am out of ideas. If anyone has some, shoot. I'd really like to finish this. **


End file.
